Love Rolls On! Unlikely tales of marriage, love and disability

Honoring the Wholeness of the Other

Barton and Megan at a local writer's conference.

April and May sure have been turbulent months with the ups and downs of local, national and international events. Our close friends, family and communities have experienced some dramatic events- multiple friends in ICU, car wreck, Japan earthquake and multiple tornadoes.

In the days after the Tuscaloosa tornado, Barton could not pull me away from the phone or Internet as I would be somewhere and think of an entire community in Tuscaloosa to follow up on, make sure everyone was okay. Even now, there are a few families I still have not been able to get in touch with.

In the midst of all of this, Barton and I both had a variety of project deadlines, workshops and community events to keep us running nearly every day. We’ve worked together as a team to keep going and not completely fall apart.

What impressed me the most about the past few months was how adamant Barton was that I take care of myself and how each one of us came to honor the other in our work, family and who we are as we strive for new projects and visions.

It’s easy to get caught up in who we want the other to be in our relationship, and when that person doesn’t meet our expectations, the connection breaks with harsh consequences. (My father, a psychologist specializing in couple’s therapy would have much to say on this topic, for sure).

Even with the chaos tumbling on around us, Barton and I both continued to redefine who we are, what new visions we see, and the very beginning actions to follow those paths. Several times, we’ve sat down for brainstorming sessions for new paths in our work, which has been energizing and exciting.

It was powerful to hear Barton’s support when I mentioned to him that over the summer, I needed a few weeks to work on more creative projects that had gotten lost in the shuffle the past few months.

And while Barton has been working on several creative projects as well, I have stepped back, letting go of the attachment to financial result. Realizing that by working on these projects, he is gaining creative momentum, energy and just plain fun, which will sustain him during the more work-related items.

By recognizing what each of us needs in discovering new visions and goals, and honoring those spaces, we are able to come together more easily, overcoming the challenges and hurdles the day throws at us.