Tags: Barton Cutter, daily living, disability and humor, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, humor, love, vision
In the midst of the chaos of balancing our current projects with our combined efforts to revamp the vision and focus of our company as well as an unexpected flurry of external distractions over the past several weeks, I’ve noticed my own emotional energies waning in their natural balance and giving way to greater fluctuations in my state of being. In particular, I had felt my natural abundance of laughter being more easily overshadowed by external beliefs and perceptions.
As this has come more fully into awareness, I have made a pointed effort to uncover the laughter and return it to the forefront of my experience. As I’ve done this, I’ve become aware of several significant aspects that have reaffirmed how vital this laughter is for my own state of mind. At the most basic level, I’ve noticed that it’s dispelled minor annoyances allowing a means for my body to process these energies without having them weigh me down.
As a result of this simple form of processing, I’ve also noticed that the laughter forms a basis for stability in the midst of emotionally charged situations, be they self imposed or created by my external environment. This recognition, in turn, has lead to the most profound and vital aspects of how I implement laughter in relationship to those around me.
With this given stability, I have found that I can bring forth this laughter in situations, be they with Megan or anyone else, where the laughter itself opens the space for another person to process their emotional experience openly and safely, without self-judgment and clinging to the experience. Moreover, it also allows me to be present with them without taking responsibility for their emotions.
Need a little laughter in your day? Watch this clip of outtakes from Hattarras Island. Try to be serious!
Tags: daily living, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, fun, gratitude, interability marriage, love, Megan Cutter, time together
For many years, especially in the period after my mother passed away I kept a gratitude list in my journal. Somehow in the years after moving to Raleigh, the practice got lost in the long list of things to do that always ran off of the day’s hours. After a particularly strange week of just odd things happening around us, I found myself steeped in a whirlwind of frantic energy.
Last week, I had travelled to the beach to write for the day and to return to a place of centeredness. While I was journaling, I wrote down a quick list of things that I was thankful for. Since then, Barton and I have started the day or ended the day in dialogue about what we have gratitude for.
The list has included everything from being together, a success of the day, walk in the morning to more general items like being alive (as an incident occurred a few blocks from our house), water, or surviving the budget for one more month.
What I noticed was that being in dialogue with our gratitude was very different from writing it in my journal when I was alone. I found that speaking our gratitude lists to one another allowed us to come into a deeper connection.
In partnerships or relationships, it’s easy to identify the things that aren’t done, the empty fulfillments, the statements of- you need, you should, or you haven’t. After years of being together, it’s still important to acknowledge the things a partner has done and fulfilled. I’ve noticed that when we’ve exchanged these bits of gratitude, there is a deeper appreciation for each other and our journey together.
What do you have gratitude for? Share it with someone this week!
Tags: disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, interability marriage, Megan Cutter, vision, Work
On the way back from Tuscaloosa, Barton and I talked about a number of projects we needed to work on over the summer. He brought up changing the name to our business (again), as our passions and vision have changed since we moved to Raleigh.
My first response was to resist, as hard as I could- but I’m going to lose the clients I have, but I am a writer, but I like Cutter’s Word, but I don’t want to change, but, but, but…
And yet- I knew he was right. But…
We debated for weeks about when to make the change. I just wasn’t ready yet. This process was asking me to claim parts of myself that I didn’t truly believe I was ready to show.
On the second trip to Tuscaloosa, I made the drive without Barton, and on the way home had time to process the transformation of my life over the last ten years. I was excited about where my relationship with Barton was and how much work we had done over the past few years to build a solid foundation for our relationship.
We decided that we would begin to make the change over July and August, because we seemed to have a bit of a break as many people have been gone on vacation over the summer.
Over the past few weeks, Barton & I have carved out days to write new content for the website, and it’s been a blast to get together to work on these new pieces of our vision and to put them out there for all to view.
Today, I worked on a webpage to bring a writing program to families touched by disability. Barton said it was gutsy to write, and at first I had hesitation to take it back. But this is the vision and the work that I bring to the table.
It’s who we are in helping other families. And we can’t take it back!
Tags: Barton Cutter, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, interability marriage, vision, Work
One day mid-spring, Megan and I sat with our list of combined projects mulling over how we could better collaborate and use the best of our strengths, both individual and combined to bring the vision of our work together into reality. After a rather in-depth exercise of putting to paper each of our individual missions and extracting from it a joint mission and vision that spoke to the heart of where we wanted to go professionally, we fell into a moment of stunned silence as we read and re-read what our combined efforts had generated.
Looking up from the paper, our eyes connected and in amazement, I asked, “Is a new company? This all can’t fit under Cutter’s Word or Blooming Lotus Coaching.”
Megan heart stopped, almost anyway, and we both watched our own minds explode with possibilities, expectations and even some trepidation. As usual, my mind naturally jumped far ahead into the realm of excitement and possibility, coming up with ideas for design, messaging, direction, and expectations of success. You know, all the fun stuff.
Megan, I think, was perhaps a bit less enthusiastic. She certainly understood the need, yet her list, some might argue, was a bit more practical wondering what the process was for changing our name, what the time and costs would be to transform our website and branding, and where we could begin to even find clients in this new arena.
It’s not uncommon for me to be the cliff-diver in our relationship. Yet, it has been wonderful to watch and participate with Megan as I watch her learn to trust me and herself at a deeper level and step out ready and willing to dive with me as her own clarity becomes even more crystal clear.
So away we went combining both lists and beginning an exciting new journey to create a new and more inclusive vision for the work that we each love to do. It’s been quite a process, one in which we are still in the midst of. Yet, as we move step-by-step through this process, we find ourselves in exciting new territory that asks us to constantly re-mold our visions and assumptions to greet these new possibilities with openness and a drive for exploration.