Don’t forget, we’ve moved to a new blog platform!! Catch all of our new blog posts here:
Just a few updates, Barton Cutter is a semin-finalist for the NMEDA National Awareness Month Contest, where three people could win an accessible van. Read our Open Letter to the NMEDA Community: National Awareness Month, where Megan shares her reflections on living and working with Barton!! And be sure to share it! We don’t know what will happen, so stay tuned!!
AND we’ll be speaking at TWO summer events- the Abilities Expo in Chicago and the Living Well with a Disability Conference in Pennsylvania. Catch us at one of our events here: http://inkinthewheels.com/scheduled-events-readings/
And we’ve received inquiries from all over the world about living, life and love with a disability once we launched Ink in the Wheels: Stories to Make Love Roll!!
Catch these recent interviews!!
~Megan and Barton Cutter
As we prepare for the publication of our book, Ink in the Wheels: Stories to Make Love Roll, we are excited to be putting together a book trailer, new website and blog!
And Ink in the Wheels: Stories to Make Love Roll will be released February 2013! We’ll keep you posted with links to the book’s website, and upcoming events and readings.
Tags: Barton Cutter, communication, daily living, disability, disability self advocacy
Last week, Megan recounted my recent experience with local police & EMS, and those oh so well intentioned folks who inadvertently caused unneccessary mayhem while doing their best to help. In the days since, I have spent countless hours processing and attempting to make sense out of conflicting perspectives on what transpired, many of which exist purely internally.
While I am reconciling my emotions, I have had the opportunity to speak with a member of the EMS team in order to understand the point from which they were orienting from during last week’s events.
Through this conversation, it’s become apparent to me that there was confusion and misunderstanding on all sides in many ways, and in many ways, the EMS who were on the scene did the best they could.
Yet, from a personal perspective, it felt as though that during the intent to disengage my wheelchair, it felt like they were inadvertantly taking my power. As it was only after an hour of attempting to communicate that I needed no help, that I gave in. There’s such a fine line.
I gave in because I was at an impass, but I did not give permission to disengage my chair nor would they let me drive independently.
During the conversation with the supervisor, we came upon a mutual understanding, the result of which was an invitation to serve as a resource and to explore opportunities to collaborate, going out into the community in refining their understanding and practices of assisting people with disabilities.
Tags: Barton Cutter, disability and humor, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, humor, interability marriage, vacation
Have you ever had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day? Well, we had one crazy week before our vacation.
Monday at 4am we drove to Charlotte to be at a daylong meeting.
Tuesday, 6am: drove home to meet clients for both Megan & I. We got home at 5pm to find Basho, our younger dog, limping. Megan took him to the vet, after x-rays found he would need surgery. Woke up at 1am, trying to decide what to do for him & was less than compassionate toward Megan.
Wednesday: Megan rushed to catch up on work as a construction crew came to repair the foundation of our house. 2pm: ran to the doctor’s office to have my pump refill, 4:30 Megan & I hadn’t eaten all day, picked up a burger & shake. 5pm: five minutes to breathe & eat. 6:30pm: On the way to bed, felt nauseous. 9:30 after 2 1/2 hrs of sleep woke up & got sick. Megan threw me in my bath chair to clean the sheets, wash me off. We decided it was wiser if I slept in my chair tipped back against the wall. 5am woke up cramped from sleeping in my chair but Megan was asleep, so I wasn’t going to say a thing. Woke up every hour for the next four hours.
Construction crew arrived at 9am on Thursday. I slept till 12:30 even after Megan asked me to wake up because she had to leave. 1:15pm: Megan enters “Barton, have you heard the AC. Come out on the back porch.” I go out on the deck & hear what resembles a sub-machine gun on steroids. We turn the AC off. 7pm Megan calls all of our neighbors trying to find someone who has floor fans that we can borrow. 9:30pm friends deliver 2 high-power fans from their office. 10pm sleep maybe.
Friday 6am: the ultimate test chicken noodle soup. It stays down thank God. Trying to rehydrate, pounded an entire liter of Poweraid in less than 5 min. 12pm: the final floor lift. We hold our breath, what else could go wrong? Will we have plumbing? Who knows, and we have to leave. 1pm: Chapel Hill Megan & I present an hour and a half video seminar on self-care for professionals yes, I did say self care. 3:30 Finally get home, I hope our plumbing still works. Only three cracked tiles in the bathroom, and the toilet still flushes. I’m saved. Megan wants to go out for dinner. I still don’t trust my stomach; no way I’m eating real food yet.
Saturday 3am: This morning I wake up on my side and need to roll over. I wake Megan who is irritable because she’s been so sleep deprived. 9am: Wake up have a marvelous conversation with my love while cuddling in bed, up by 10, coffee shop by 10:30, working on the book. 2pm: Home to finish my article, it’s 86 degrees inside the house & we sit on the sofa to do nothing because it’s too hot to move. We survive by eating Italian Ice. Sunset 8:30, Megan & I still have work to do.
Some weeks are like this. We need a vacation. Thank God we got one!!
We returned from vacation to find that Basho had suddenly passed away. To our Wild Child, you brought joy and youthful vitality into our lives, you will be missed!
Tags: Barton Cutter, coaching, daily living, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, Work, writing
Do you ever find yourself in a position where you are struggling to fight off the inevitable? I found myself in this vary situation last week, as, for various reasons one of my largest and most foundational contracts was frozen for renewal. I had known this was a possibility and yet, as the news hit my ear, during last week’s meeting, I found myself in a panic, struggling to find a way to hold on. Yet, there was none.
At the beginning of this year, I remember working with my own coach to design what I would like to the next twelve months to look like. As I worked through this vision, I noticed even in January that much of my focus and intention was placed on expanding in other areas namely completing and publishing our book as well as growing my coaching practice.
Indeed, I had been waiting for an opportunity to dive off the cliff and soar into the greatness of being a full-time coach and mentor. But the truth is, there is a bottom line that we have to account for to maintain sustainability. As I absorbed the shock last week of the fact that this contract might be placed on hold for an indefinite amount of time, I found myself examining how to balance this need for sustainability with my passion and love of coaching and mentorship.
And indeed, I am still in the process, but as I hold these two aspects side by side, I notice that I have been offered an amazing opportunity to transform my professional direction, like I’ve said in my previous posts, this will not be a denial of my writing skills, but rather a more holistic embrace of them. And, by the same token, a more holistic approach of the compassion and love of coaching.
As I have begun to search for other work, I find that my skills as a writer are indeed most essential, particularly as I notice that I cannot abandon my background and success in public relations. Yet my skills as a writer need to be harnessed and utilized within an organization that carries the same passion and commitment to supporting people as I carry in my work as a coach. I suppose when I do discover this perfect match or combination of matches with multiple organizations, I hope what I will find is an environment in which my writing abilities will be put to task as a catalysis for an transformative experience for the human soul in the same way that I witness the shift in the spirit of others after a powerful coaching session.
In a conversation yesterday with the head of a local non-profit organization, I found solace of his understanding of how the use of the tools that I bring to bear need to be implemented in such a fashion.
It is not merely about building the brand and messaging of an organization, but instead cultivating and transforming the hearts of those that work for and are touched by the organization. Herein lies the foundation for building inclusive communities.
Tags: Barton Cutter, coaching, daily living, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, vision, Work, writing
Recently, Megan posted about the importance of courage. How, with each word, we find ourselves uncovering the vulnerability to tell the truth of who we are without hiding from it nor apologizing for it.
I find myself struck by how, as we enter again into refining our book for publication, we are continually being called to embrace great courage in our daily lives, almost as a living reflection of our editing process. Over the past several weeks this need for courage and honest vulnerability is re-emerging as a central theme in my own life. More specifically, I have been exploring how this vulnerability informs my capacity to care for my family and progress in my professional endeavors as well.
In the face of some recent transitions, and the looming possibility of having to navigate changes in contracts, this question of vulnerability has called me to reassess how I understand my personal mission of supporting others to embrace their full potential and the best means by which I can execute it. As many of you know, coaching and mentoring has been an on-going passion and over the past few years, has taken center stage in terms of the direction in which I’m headed. At the same time, this has always been backed by the security of projects in other arenas providing for our basic needs.
It is clear to me that I am most comfortable and most fulfilled working within the realm of developing others to be their absolute best be it personally, professionally, within organizations or whatever possible format may be applicable to them. I am also equally aware that as a professional myself, many of my most valuable assets also include my writing abilities, public relations, and marketing.
Understanding these two realms, both where my personal passion and ambition lies as well as understanding when others perceive the bulk of my talent causes me to carefully examine how I can interweave the two so that both aspects are utilized to the fullest without compromising either my love for personal development or my skills as a writer.
Herein lies the heart of vulnerability, as this recognition is not one-sided. Nor does it hold one aspect as being more favorable over another. It is through this honest conversation with myself that is unraveling a new framework for the next evolution of my professional and personal life.
In facing these realities fully and understanding who I am, I become less attached to having a specific ideal and rather feel more comfortable designing an integrated, and ever fluid professional life that incorporates elements of the whole range of talent, experience and passion. Indeed, this conversation requires the same courage and vulnerability that Megan and I are facing on a daily basis as we re-engage with our manuscript. And, it is through this vulnerability that we discover a fullness that we were previously unaware of, no matter our endeavor.
Tags: Barton Cutter, coaching, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, fun, gratitude, interability marriage, vision, Work
Do you ever find yourself in awe of the cyclical nature of life and how, whether we like it or not, we seem to be carried from peak to valley and back to peak to re-examine our patterns and behaviors? It’s times like these where we often find ourselves experiencing a strong sense of déjà vu, almost as though the universe is pointing you toward certain elements in your life for some inexplicable reason.
The past few months have certainly been one of these times for both Megan & I, where the unnecessary seems to be falling away making room for new and greater potential.
For me, this letting go requires a great deal of trust as the face of one aspect of work transforms to encompass new and perhaps less concrete delineations. And yet, in the same pulse of letting go, another entirely unforeseen opportunity may emerge to carry us closer to our vision for working with other families. Certainly I have witnessed this occurring for Megan on almost a daily basis as opportunity after opportunity arises.
The driving question behind helping us decide the most appropriate course of action has transformed from which is in line with our personal vision and which is not to which of these opportunities resonates most closely with the ultimate fullness of our goals.
We both see multiple opportunities arising at the same time, and all of them are somehow aligned with our vision. Yet, like the master musician striking the middle C, it is up to us to distinguish the notes that resonate most harmoniously with the depths of our soul. No longer is the major third, fifth or seventh sufficient. Only the pure resonance of the full interval of an octave crisp enough for us to now take action.
Tags: Barton Cutter, creativity, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, interability marriage, love, vision, Work, writing
Since Megan and I completed our manuscript and sent it to our editor nearly a month and a half ago, I have found myself wanting to pause from writing in nearly all its forms and revel in the accomplishment of having a complete manuscript in hand. What has been interesting for me over this last month is not that the desire to write has been absent, but rather I have wanted to find a subject more profound than what I can come up with at any given moment.
It’s almost as if the faculty of my imagination needs a pause for somewhat of a recovery. Almost as though, like a physical muscle just completing a triathlon at some levels, it still begs for the adrenaline and the excitement of the exercise itself, yet on the other hand is totally exhausted and needs to recover in order to grow stronger and express itself once more, yet more fully than before.
These words I write now are the first glimpse of the recovery for that aspect of my creativity, pausing to reflect on a subject worth my time, I am immediately captured by these words and am carried off down the river of what may or may not become a revelation of true artistic talent.
Despite this unknowing, I am somehow entrusted to my own capacity for meaningful writing more completely than before, and it thrills me to know that the longer I rest and trust in the freely developing inspirations, the words begin to flow once again as the time arises. In the meanwhile, Megan and I are still diligently working on other aspects of our book publication.
While perhaps not as creative as the initial drafting, I have found that as we move into these areas, they carry with them the same excitement and hope of fulfillment as the original work did for me. It’s a thrill to know that by the autumn, we will indeed have a book in hand and be able to embark on an adventure of promoting it and speaking in such a way that will serve all those who have the opportunity to listen, share and engage with us.
Tags: Barton Cutter, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, family, family and holidays, holidays, interability marriage
We know the holidays have come and gone, but it has only been recently that I’ve been able to reflect on them. Amidst the whirlwind of writing that Megan and I found ourselves in as we completed our manuscript, my father and stepmother came to town for a weekend to celebrate Christmas with us.
As always, I expected we would have a pleasant yet relatively quiet time as during their typical holiday visits, we typically have quiet days cooking and celebrating on our own. Perhaps going out to dinner, but rarely interacting with others outside of our family.
This time, however, I was given an amazing and unexpected gift. We had been invited by our friends from martial arts to celebrate with them, both on Christmas eve as well as Christmas Day. Over the feast of wonderful roast lamb and all the other usual accoutrements, until now, we had never had the opportunity to introduce my dad and stepmother to those that we train with, and I was both excited and joyful about the opportunity.
There is something special I find in introducing my family to those who are so close to us. It’s almost as if we were able to give them a deeper understanding of who we are and also allowed them to appreciate why some of the influences other than themselves that have supported us as we have grown more fully into out love and service with one another.
In many ways, I suppose, I had wanted to introduce my dad and stepmother to them over the years, believing that somehow it would help them understand how Megan and I came to connect with one another and who the community is that I find myself constantly interacting with.
I must say, however that I was not prepared for how well they hit it off. Seeing my stepmother and one of our closest friends dive into a two-hour long conversation was even beyond my wildest imaginings. Even my dad, who at times may not be prone to listening deeply to other people, was somehow captivated in conversation with one of the teachers who had helped me move beyond so many barriers.
It was amazing to me to see how natural my dad and stepmother fit it, especially as I know they were amazed by the warmth my friends showed them. This interaction somehow solidified for me a level of comfort with discussing the martial arts with my family that I had not had before, truly it was the best gift that we could have received this holiday season.
Tags: Barton Cutter, creative play, disability, disability and arts, disability and humor, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, disability and visual arts, fun, inclusive arts, inclusive visual arts, play, vision, wheelchairs
Yesterday, Megan and I got bitten by the bug of our own- inner-playfulness. A beautifully bright November Day, we couldn’t help but be outside, and we got the urge to finally pull out an art project, which had been mulling around in the back of our minds for several months.
The ingredients: two tubes of acrylic paint, one roll of brown construction paper, eight heavy-duty 3’x4’ sheets of paper doubling as canvases, one paint pan, one paintbrush, and most importantly, my power chair.
We cleared off a flat spot in our driveway, taped down the construction paper, and proceeded to paint my front tire, which then, served as my painting instrument of choice as I rolled, paint-filled, across the naked white.
It was a blast!
All those years of my childhood, when I drove through water puddle after water puddle and drew designs on the pavement with the wet of my tracks at once exploded into life with new Technicolor intent. My goal- a perfectly straight track mark impeccably placed upon the white canvas. I would roll into position, tire poised at the edge of the canvas as Megan slapped fresh paint onto my newly retreaded tires. And once adequately covered, I would grab my joystick and mimicking a Zen master drawing an enso circle, let out a deep breath and drew back crossing the crisp white canvas blindly.
Canvas after canvas, Megan and I repeated the process like two kindergartners enthralled with their own finger-painting. How wonderful it is to be married to someone who can throw culture to the wind, and get down and dirty with some good, clean fun!