The Fun in Going For It, Our Dreams That Is
January 24, 2012 at 12:19 pm | Posted in Megan's Blogs, Our Love Story, Ramblings, Work | Leave a commentTags: disability, disability and humor, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, fun, interability marriage, love, Megan Cutter, Work, writing
Yesterday, we spent the afternoon with our beat-up flip camera filming a clip for our Kickstarter Project. Kickstarter is a way to connect funders with projects, and videos bring the story to life. It’s your chance to pitch your story, and communicate what you need. Don’t worry- you’ll hear more about our project in February, when it goes live.
We had a few hours in the afternoon, and we were determined to get out a version we could use. Mind you, we had spent the weekend writing a script, pieces Barton could say, and others I could, overlapping our voices and message together. So, we began by pulling out the script, and Barton had the bright idea of posting it somewhere for us to look at.
Yet, when we began arranging things in our studio, there was no way to post our script without being obvious. So we threw out that idea. Instead, we figured we would just tape as many versions we could and pick out the one we liked the best. Yes, we each had pieces we would say, but we would also jumped if we needed to. And then I got worried about screwing up our quote at the beginning, so Barton started us off right.
The result was a fun afternoon of improv and fits of laughter. Yes, I’m not sure which one of us got the giggles first, but every take after that was cut short; Barton even had me laughing so hard he brought tears to my eyes. When we were done, we were both exhausted, but we had great fun, and hopefully, accomplished what we needed for the project.
So much for being “serious” in front of a camera- but you know, we are who we are!
[Don’t worry, you’ll get to see, just give us a few days for editing!]
Writing Through the New Year
January 4, 2012 at 6:26 pm | Posted in Megan's Blogs, Our Love Story, Ramblings, The Nitty-Gritty, Work | Leave a commentTags: communication, disability, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, interability marriage, love, love story, Megan Cutter, vision, Work, writing
Over the holidays, a contract is diminishing for me and we finished a draft of our book, all within two weeks of each other. The glass half empty, the glass half full. At the moment, I’ve been sitting in the middle of the unknown- we don’t know what will happen as I am reworking one of my primary contracts, which we know will be cut in half or more, and at the same time sensing the elation of a project in the midst of manifestation after so long of talking and dreaming- it’s been quite a holiday.
Along the way, Barton has been amazing- offering the support to go with the flow, with the genuine and true belief that no matter what happens, we will be okay. And truly, there are many exciting and new possibilities at the cusp of fruition this year. Since our focus for the book has become clear with Barton’s excitement almost surpassing my own, the contagiousness of our energy has bounced off each other to create a momentum that I have not experienced before.
For me, it’s been vital to focus on our manuscript in this time of unknowing, and trust me, there has been much to do. Barton found that he could write much more material by using the Voice Memo App on his I-Phone and could record about a 7-minute piece to then email to me for transcription. I would sit down at my computer, open my in-box to find a string of 5-10 voice memos to transcribe. Since October, Barton has written, and I have transcribed, over 100 voice memos. Wow!
One by one, I would transcribe, typing about the same pace as Barton’s speaking rate, which worked perfectly. I created my own system, putting brackets around words that I could not make out, and leaving spaces between each section since the order I received them in was not necessarily the order that Barton intended.
I would also have pieces of material I was working on, and found myself as I normally do, writing at four or five in the morning to candlelight, and then later in the morning or evening transcribing Barton’s work, finally to put them together as overlapping voices for our story.
We were so determined to make our own deadline to send our draft to our editor that we worked through the winter holidays. In fact, New Years Eve, we were so exhausted we were asleep before any New Year’s celebrations began.
Yet, what a blessing to start the year of with a project that we believe in, have a clear vision for and hope that others will find what they need in their own lives. And so, for all of your inquiring minds- the first draft is done, yet there is much to do for publication this fall. We’ll keep you posted for pre-orders!!
Honey, We Have a Problem
December 12, 2011 at 9:53 pm | Posted in Megan's Blogs, Ramblings, The Nitty-Gritty | Leave a commentTags: daily living, disability, disability and humor, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, humor, interability marriage, Megan Cutter, technology, Work, writing
Barton and I had spent the morning making revisions and changes to the memoir we are writing, and we returned home to implement these revisions into our working document, and I also had planned an afternoon of catching up on work. I turned on the computer, opened all files, and a few seconds later- it all froze. Frozen- completely.
I pressed the power button, and the computer booted up with a purple and green striped screen, which looked like Christmas wrapping paper, with an error message to reboot, in more than one language. I did try, with the same result- in which case you know not to try anymore otherwise you will hit a high level of frustration just from producing an identical result.
Barton was on the deck with the dogs, and I made a face through the windows. “Honey, we have a problem.”
I turned the computer around so he could see the ‘70’s tv color stripes on the screen. I was determined not to freak out.
The afternoon ensued with preparation in case I had lost all data, and a trip to Apple amongst several hundred Christmas shoppers, to thankfully discover it was a graphic card failure, known to fail, and the repairs would be at no cost. As chaotic as the store was, I was still impressed with their customer service.
Barton mentioned more than once that he was proud of my reaction- a far cry from a few years ago. And when I needed a minute so that I could keep my composure and not get lost in the fear of computer crashes, Barton was gracious enough to give me the space I needed.
Several years ago, with a PC, I was working on an article for the News and Observer North Raleigh News, and interview contacts were in an email by the editor who had sent them just as he was going out of town. I don’t know why, but I had this nightmare that my computer wouldn’t turn on, and well, I must have been on that weird wavelength because I woke up early to find the computer would not power up. 7:00am, and poor Barton woke up to my blood curling scream and hyperventilation. Several trips to Best Buy, $100 data recovery plus repair costs to the power strip- all in early December, and it just happened to be the day the Wii was making its debut. What a nightmare it was.
Even with a calmer response, for a writer, any technical glitch can be frustrating and set one back on their deadlines. More than once I tried to get up “to check my computer,” sitting back down to realize there was nothing to check. I sat with my Tension Tamer tea in hand, realizing that whatever work I thought I was going to get done just went out the window.
I breathed in a mixture of peppermint and chamomile, and pulled out a notebook and pen.
The Dance of Playing in the Finger-Painting Sandbox
November 28, 2011 at 7:07 pm | Posted in Megan's Blogs, Ramblings, wheelchairs | Leave a commentTags: disability, disability and humor, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, disability and visual arts, inclusive arts, inclusive visual arts, Megan Cutter, play, wheelchairs
Our art project actually began several months ago as more of a creative and inspirational art project. We decided to go to the craft store together, and adding on a few more errands, I drove while Barton walked. Once arriving and hearing the “I was almost hit by a semi who jumped the sidewalk” story, I was just a little hesitant at whether or not this was worth it. And I was a little hesitant about whether or not we would find what we needed.
It’s not everyday you hear a customer ask, “If we wanted to paint his wheels to create an imprint- what kind of paper and paint would we use?”
While we relaxed over the Thanksgiving holiday and seeped into the fall sun and leaves, we were both inspired yesterday. As Barton mentioned, we hauled out all our supplies to the driveway, picking the square with the least number of cracks and set out everything we needed. As we prepared our canvas, I saw Barton’s excitement rise to the occasion. He was figuring out the perfect angle, timing and method as I was setting everything off to the side.
We did a test run on brown construction paper, and adjusted our methods accordingly. With each print, we scoured over what was the best section and how it fared in comparison with the others. The wind was blowing, and more than once the canvas blew into me- I had paint on my hands, jeans, and feet. Emerging from setting the print down inside the house, I found Barton, giddy over what the next one would produce.
After a while, we created this dance- Barton would move into his exact spot, I would paint the treads, and he would roll backwards by just a fraction. I could complete the splattering. In one movement, he rolled backwards, we assessed the outcome, I would pull of the tape and hold it so it wouldn’t fly into me, find a spot in the house where the dogs couldn’t reach, and emerge to begin the process again. It was a perfect dance.
On the last print, Barton painted the bottom of my foot with the Indigo ink to include a footprint. He held the paintbrush in his mouth, and I sat on the concrete holding my foot in his lap while he brushed on the ink, cold to my toes. As I added my footprint, I felt the same giddiness as Barton.
This was such a different feeling for me. So much of my life has been serious and in some ways I had been unconsciously taught for it to be filled with work- get a job, manage life and deadlines, it should be serious and feel like work. Blah, blah, bah humbug.
But this was amazing- it felt free, and I felt inspired to write and create. I began to shed the adult shackles of crankiness and live into the play I had so much resisted.
Welcoming In a New Anniversary
November 16, 2011 at 8:02 pm | Posted in Megan's Blogs, Our Love Story | Leave a comment
Sunset on the water in Wilmington.
Sunday was our seventh anniversary! And- we both crashed! The past few weeks have been exceptionally busy. We’ve had a variety of projects, meetings, workshops, and ended with Barton’s conference in Wilmington. Of course there were jokes about the weather- no hurricanes this year (although apparently there was a tropical storm that never made it to shore).
Production Set-up for One Tree Hill
Since we do not have a van, I went along to make sure Barton was where he needed to be during the day, and snuck away during the day to get some of my own work and writing done. And, discovering that One Tree Hill was filming a block from the hotel, I admit I played hooky for a day to watch production set up.
When Barton’s conference ended on Thursday afternoon, we made a beeline for the beach, any time for a moment of rest & relaxation. As we watched the ocean waves from the hotel room balcony, we couldn’t help to smile and be amazed at the past year, full of adventure, excitement and a rollercoaster ride of events (from returning to a tornado-torn Tuscaloosa, removing a backyard tree only to realize that the floor of our house is sinking in, and transforming our business).
That evening, we enjoyed dinner at a local restaurant, taking time out to celebrate where we are in our lives, how close we have felt to each other the past year, and dreams and goals we have for this next year. It’s easy when there is a lot going on to run into the next project, skipping over the celebration. And taking the evening to celebrate was just what we needed.
Sunrise at Wrightsville Beach.
I couldn’t help waking up just before sunrise to greet the sun from our hotel room- taking a moment to feel the gratitude of where we are in our crazy lives. I wouldn’t have it any other way- and in all of the events this past year, to feel as close to Barton as I do now, is just amazing. What a phenomenal life!
Even while we were relaxing on the patio Friday morning, we were working on an article together, weaving our stories and work. Before we left, it was warm enough to sit in rocking chairs on the veranda, and we watched dolphins play in the water.
By the time we made it to the weekend- home and unpacked, we were exhausted, and while we had all of this exciting and fun stuff planned for Saturday and Sunday, we just crashed.
And you know what, it’s perfectly okay. I wouldn’t have it any other way, because tomorrow we will wake up, grab a cup of coffee, enjoy the day (and work)– together.
Meeting the Day in Play
October 24, 2011 at 8:38 pm | Posted in Around the House, Barton's Blogs, Ramblings, The Nitty-Gritty | 1 CommentTags: Barton Cutter, daily living, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, fun, gratitude, interability marriage, love, martial arts, vision, Work
All clear for take off: Barton training in AL.
A couple of night ago in martial arts class, we were working on a technique that had a particularly light feel. The person who I was working with was a rather large guy who tends to rely on his muscle to make techniques work rather than relaxation and body mechanics.
At first, I was a little worried about how to make something so light work against a person who appeared to be so sturdy. The first time I did the technique, I felt myself picking up on his tension as I moved in to take him off balance. My teacher came over and watched for a minute. Grabbing a chair and plopping himself into it, he said, “No Barton, try it this way.”
With just as much grace and softness, he dropped the same 200-pound guy with a turn of his head and a bend at the waist. I got a feel for how to maintain that feeling of easy playfulness despite what the attacker was bringing to the interaction and tried again. As I began to incorporate the feel, I noticed that the less effort I put into making it work, the better the outcome.
Toward the end of class, the technique came more easily to me, and what I began to notice was that as I moved and allowed myself to have patience with my own movement, the rigidity and tension in my training partner began to dissolve. There were even a few times where, after he collapsed onto the floor, we looked at one another and wondered, how the heck did that even happen. All we knew was that one minute he had tried to punch me and the next he couldn’t stand and was on the ground.
The next morning, Megan and I were chatting about how busy the past few months have been, and how there was still a feeling that in spite of all we had done, there was still even more to do. And we wondered how on earth we would ever get through it all. Don’t get me wrong, all of this work is dear to both of our hearts and we are completely excited by every facet of it. Yet, the sheer quantity of “to do’s” is at times overwhelming.
All of a sudden, the lesson from the night before flashed in my head. I laughed as I looked Megan deeply into the eyes. “What’s so funny?” She questioned.
I told her what had happened at class and said, “I think it’s the same thing. Somehow we need to drop all of these to do’s and just play with what ever it is that we are working on. The to-do’s will always be there, don’t worry about them getting lost. For now, let’s pick one thing and work on it lightly.”
And so we did. As I suspected, it worked itself out just as the technique in class had the night before. No effort required, just a soft touch and a light heart.
Slow is Smooth and Smooth is Fast
October 24, 2011 at 8:30 pm | Posted in Around the House, Megan's Blogs, Ramblings, The Nitty-Gritty | Leave a commentTags: daily living, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, household chores, interability marriage, love, Megan Cutter, time together, vision
One of my mentors talked to me about how as creative peoples, we have a tendency to go until we drop, especially when we get inspired. It happens to me when I get on a writing kick- I’ll wake up at 2am, writing before a full day of work, and find myself crashing the next day at six or seven in the evening or I get so wound up I can’t go to sleep. I feel that if I don’t get it down on paper at that moment, it’s gone.
And I mentioned about how- no matter how early I get up, ten minutes before I leave the house, I tear through every room finding keys, papers, notebooks, lesson plans, phone, books. There may be times when I am working on two lists- what I need for the day and what Barton needs for the day.
I was reminded to slow down, on a couple of fronts. To prepare for the next day, not just in logistics, but also in projects. I noticed a huge shift when I found myself ten minutes late, and I was not freaking out at all. I moved from one place to another, and I found myself actually on time for the event.
I’ve also felt like I’ve planned projects out better, giving myself enough time to complete them, and while nothing seems to go as I fully expect, I’m able to adapt to necessary changes in flow or needs.
Yet, I’ve completely resisted the notion of slowing down that I know will smooth the day out even more. During this time of planning multiple events, creating new brochures and working on the best ways to reach new youth and families, I’ve been itching to get to the to-do list. It all seems to go too slowly for my racing mind.
On the days when Barton & I have worked together, we’ve been focused and while we may have only gotten one item off of the long list, we know that we’ve done it well, and that has been a great feeling.
Blog at WordPress.com. | Theme: Pool by Borja Fernandez.
Entries and comments feeds.
