Accepting the OfferMarch 25, 2011 at 4:46 pm | Posted in Barton's Blogs, Ramblings, The Nitty-Gritty | Leave a comment
Tags: Barton Cutter, daily living, disability, disability and love, disability and marriage, disability and relationships, interability marriage, love, vision, Work
Over the past several weeks, much of our focus has been observing a bigger picture and supporting others as best we can, whether it means holding prayerful vigil for a dear friend in the hospital or doing our best to locate a number of friends and acquaintances in Japan. Personally, it has felt good to hold this focus as I have a strong belief that this is one of the best ways I can improve the lives of others. More over, it feels good to have the opportunity to return support from those who have supported me in the past.
What is interesting, however, is how Megan and I have become more aware of the ways in which we both tend to resist the same type of support that we enjoy giving so freely. The other morning while we were having a relaxing time waking up, we found ourselves discussing how, when offered support, we do all that we can to project the appearance that the support is unneeded, and we later wonder why we don’t get the support after telling people that we don’t need it.
Throughout the day, it became more and more apparent how each of us does this in our own way. For me, much of this stems from a need not to appear weak. When it is something within our family unit that Megan is offering to support me on, I feel the need to bear the burden on my own so that she is protected and not drawn off of her focus, particularly if she is in a creative space. It is extremely important to me that I help her maintain this. At the same time, I noticed that as this day progressed, my attempts at not accepting her support frustrated her greatly, and in fact caused me to inadvertently do what I was trying so hard not to.
While there are times that it is vital that I take a stand and protect my family from oncoming difficulties, I realized that I needed to be more mindful of these times when accepting this support does more to unite the family rather than holding the space on my own.